SEXY SEX

10 Things Guys Should Never Do On a First…

04/09/201504/09/2015
by Jessie Dean Altman

Ladies, you know the drill. Relationships are all about give and take, and there’s a lot we’ll put up with, but if he pulls any of these on you on the first date, girl, you’d better run!

Here are ten of the most common first date deal-breakers:

1. Be the guy from Smash Mouth.

This rule may seem obvious to most of us, but you’d be surprised just how many ladies don’t seem to care!

2. Bring another woman.

Look, fun gals like us are up for almost anything, but here’s where the “almost” comes into play. Sure, she’d probably make a great bathroom gossip buddy, but that’s not the point.

3. Slap a child.

Unless the child is really, really asking for it.

4. Talk during the movie.

A little witty commentary here and there is fine, but keep it to a minimum, buddy! We’re trying to enjoy this porno.

5. Ask if you’d be willing to convert.

Whoa, too soon, fella! We’re all for religious guys and we’re not saying Satanism is out of the question but lighten up and save the serious stuff for later!

6. Make you pay.

Modern gals like us are open to the idea of going dutch! But not on the first date, and certainly not his mortgage payment or alimony. A lady has to have some self respect!

7. Hide a gun in your purse.

Candy? Sure. A tenner? Absolutely. Picture of Ryan Gosling shirtless? Always appreciated. A stolen Smith & Wesson .22 caliber pistol? Totes inappropes.

8. Get matching tattoos.

Let’s face it, tattoos are kinda tacky and matching tattoos are always a bad idea (sorry, it’s true!). That goes double for on a first date and triple when it’s of his ex-wife’s name.

9. Buy you tampons.

It’s one thing if you need them but as a first date gift it’s just not that romantic.

10. Bite the head off a live chicken.

Hey, we know he’s hungry. We’re hungry, too! But he should try to have at least a tiny bit of decorum until we’ve known him longer. And he’d better share!