We all know Donald Trump hates China… but which one?! With so many Chinas in this world, we at LADYPARTS Magazine had to get to the bottom of this tenuous issue.
1. China Classic
Located on planet earth, China Classic is known for its dense population of people and only children. Trump claims China Classic is “perhaps even the lamest of all Chinas.”
2. Japan China
Japan China may be the most picturesque China, but that doesn’t make it fun. Secluded in the Pacific Ocean, just north of the Great Pacific garbage patch, very few visit Japan and even fewer…make it back alive.
According to Trump, “Japan, China? No fucking way.”
Chyna is known for the big personality of the country. Chyna is perhaps the most provocative China but according to Trump, “I’m busy right now, go away.”
4. Nana’s Nice China
Nana’s Nice China has been in the family for centuries, but that doesn’t mean its pretty. “All it does is collect dust in the cupboard, why can’t we just sell it?” asks Trump. Only visit on special occasions with Papa’s Silver Cutlery.
Chinaland is a small town located just south of Chinawich. Nearly inhabitable because of the cloud of toxic smoke that surrounds it, Chinaland is one of the oldest cities in Beijing. “Never even heard of it,” says T.
6. China from the movies
No list of horrible Chinas is complete without mention of China from the movies. Flooded with humans and disease, China from the movies is no place for humans. “Avoid it,” says Trump “and get out of my face, will ya?”
7. China from a long time ago with like emperors and dynasties and stuff
China from a long time ago with like emperors and dynasties stuff may seem fun, but the past should stay in the past. The big T says “China from a long time ago with like emperors and dynasties stuff has to be the most upsetting of all Chinas. I HATE the past.”
Zoë Klar has lived in her mom’s attic and her uncle’s basement making her a real force to be reckoned with.