Donald Trump REAL TALK

Diane Presents: Donald’s Doggy Dopplegangers

Donald Trump

Donald Trump is a smart and handsome man, kinda like my dog pal, Noodles!!! 

Donald Trump

I can’t tell if this is a pic of old Don, or man’s best friend (dogs)!!!

Donald Trump

I don’t think I’ve told anyone about the time I accidentally ate dog kibble thinking it was peanuts! LIVE AND LEARN! THAT’S WHAT I SAY! 

Donald Trump

This is a good style, I put this here so I can take it to my groomer this weekend – i’m not good with a computer sometimes, and my son and I aren’t on speaking terms.

Donald Trump

I guess it’s for the best, though, I do deserve it for breaking my grandson’s Diorama on Brazil Nuts! That’s what I get for mixing chardonnay and Brazil Nut Salad!

Diane

Single, 5’4, with JUNK in the TRUNK!! LOL!!!

Hieroglyphics SEXY SEX

Diane Decodes His Hieroglyphics

Hieroglyphics

Tips to understand your Egyptian Prince!!!!!!!!

Hieroglyphics

Stop crying and hand me the towel, why are you still here?

Hieroglyphics

Stop asking me about my turds, I control my destiny.

Hieroglyphics

Your sister’s always been a bitch anyway.

Hieroglyphics

Your massages suck and they always have because of your rough hands.

Diane

Single, 5’4, with JUNK in the TRUNK!! LOL!!!

New Look HEALTH

From Pineapple to Pear: Diane’s New Look

New Look

From Pineapple to Pear: Diane’s New Look

“My girlfriend Caryl couldn’t stop boasting about her weight loss after one round of Hilary Duff’s Organic Colonics. “

After two messy sessions, Diane dropped from a Kohl’s size 16 to a cool 12! She needed a new wardrobe to match!

New Look

“I brought my entire schlumpy yet sophisticated wardrobe to The Fashion Bandit studios so Jean and Culi could tear me a new one! “

Yeesh! Jean and Culi had their work cut out for them. The sorting process took the boys over 14 hours.

New Look

“I couldn’t believe how much they were throwing away. They even tossed my dog sandals.”

Filming had to be paused due a lice outbreak after Diane’s clothing sort. Jean reportedly stated “I’ve never smelled a wardrobe with my eyes until now!”

New Look

“Noodles ate a marble off the ground at Dairy Queen! Only in New York! :)”

After one last break in filming, Jean and Culi were more than ready to get this show on the road.

New Look

“The bandits took me to Small & Wide. With my Bandit Budget of 1,000 clams, I was ready to shop. “

And so many little cuties to choose from! After a rousing shop-fest, Diane was ready for the next event: the makeover (and a sugar-free lemonade from Coffee Bean!)

mc

“The makeover was a hoot. They updated me from a Season 3 Chandler to a Season 7 Monica and I couldn’t be happier.”

Jean and Culi were so excited for Diane to show her new sexy look to all of her supporters and friends.

New Look

“Only Caryl showed up but I’m thankful for the ones I got!”

Another Fashion Bandit miracle.

(8:30 PM/7:30 C only on The Hallmark Channel)

bandit
Diane

Single, 5’4, with JUNK in the TRUNK!! LOL!!!

HEALTH

Diane’s Weight Loss Diary – Day 1

Day 1

Taquitos with Bruce!

7:45 AM: Took Noodles out for a poop. -5 Cal

9:20 AM: Handful of Almond-Craisin Crunch. +220 Cal

10:00 AM: Brushes teeth in the shower. -20 Cal (+20 cent savings in water)

11:15 AM: Took Noodles to the vet after she swallowed a lawn marble. +150 Stress Cal

12:00 PM: Taquito from 7-11. +365 Cal

12:45 PM: 2 Packs of Chocolate Dingers. +320 Cal

2:25 PM: Afternoon stress vomit -40 Cal

4:15 PM: Fell down the stairs. -100 Cal

5:00 PM: Picked up medical marijuana prescription for stress diarrhea. -120 Cal

6:15 PM: Had stress diarrhea. -45 Cal

stairs
co

7:30 PM: Met the girls at Applebee’s for an evening of fun. -20 Sweat Cal

8:00 PM: Ordered the seasonal pomegranate lime Coronarita (twice!). + 800 Cal

8:15 PM: Smooched waiter. -20 Sweat Cal

8:30 PM: Ate Habenero Ranchero Mexican Ranch Chicken Tenders (Only $14.99!)  + 1500 Cal

9:15 PM: Quick pitstop at Del Taco. Ordered Volcano Nachos for Noodles and Bruce, Ordered myself a Coronarita Taco. +350 Cal

10:30 PM: Stopped at local liquor to flirt with Brendan Lazzaro. –90 Sweat Cal

11:15 PM: Drunk drove home. -80 Stress Cal

12:00 AM: Smooched Noodles. –20 Cal

12:10 AM: Sparked up a doobie to induce stress diarrhea. -310 cal

12:30 AM: Used my toy. 🙂 -98 Cal (+400 Big O’s! HAHA)

12:45 AM: Hit the hay.

noodle

Calories Consumed: 2,905

Calories Burned: 968

Net Calories: 1,937

Not Bad 😀

Diane

Single, 5’4, with JUNK in the TRUNK!! LOL!!!

Towers REAL TALK

Diane’s Towers

Towers

“Some of the best towers I’ve seen in my “39” years on earth, LOL!!! -DIANE!!!”

This little cutie is one of my favorites!

Towers

If there’s one thing I love, it’s towers that are in the wilderness!!

Towers

I like all kinds of towers. This is more of a SHOW-ER NOT A GROW-ER, LOL!!!

Towers

This is a bird tower I met on my travels!

Towers

Another good tower

Towers

My second husband would have loved this tower God rest his soul!!!!

Towers

This is a fun bunch of cuties, right?

Towers

Definitely a ten out of ten!!! Magnificent!!

Towers

Saw one of these in person last June, just spectacular!!

Towers

Nearly creamed my skort! Yes! I wear a skort, so what!!! LOL!!!

Towers

My niece’s favorite!!! Can you believe I’m 39!!!!!!!?

Towers
Diane

Single, 5’4, with JUNK in the TRUNK!! LOL!!!