Since ancient humans began doing sex, the man’s shaft has been the focus of much of the focus of the lovemaking act’s focus, and with good reason. The shaft is easy to find, even easier to grab, and it is often the cleanest part of a man’s body. But many men tire of constant shaft-centric sex just as women tire of being a “shaft master.” Sure, it feels great to have your shaft rolled, flicked, and thurfed, but the amazing male body actually has 6 additional erogenous zones to explore, pleasure, and damage.
Now, you’re probably saying, “I’ve heard of Auto Zone, Wing Zone, and Degan’s Sports Zone, but what in the heck is the “Erogenous Zone?” What the heck are you talking about here? What? Please help me out. Would someone please explain this to me?” Don’t worry! I said the same thing the 1st, 2nd and 7rd time I heard that term. An “erogenous zone” is a “zone” on a man’s body which is “erogenous.”
A man’s cock hole can be identified by its resemblance to a small, urine-dripping fish’s mouth which is frowning because the fish is sad and occasionally sneezes because the fish is sick. We all know that that you can put stuff in holes, so try putting stuff into the cock hole. The man might just like it! Use whatever you’ve got in your purse that was cheap.
2. HIS BUTT CHEEKS
We’ve all heard about the wonderful hole that lies between a man’s cheeks (the butt hole), but what about the cheeks themselves? We’ve never heard about them. A man’s butt cheeks may be pleasured one at a time, but never simultaneously. No man wants his B cheeks over-pleasured.
3. HIS SHAFT
Ok, ok, I said this article was about the erogenous zones besides the shaft, but let’s face it, everyone wants to get their shaft fucked. Just be sure to avoid any contact between your vagina and the penis head. Yuck! Shaft only, please.
4. THE AREA INSIDE HIS BUTT
It’s a common misunderstanding that some guys don’t like getting rammed in their hole. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Every man loves having his hole hammered. The important thing is to allow him to prepare himself. Make a gentle farting sound with your mouth with an upward inflection as if the fart is asking a question. If the man is ready, he will confirm the curious fart sound with a gentle mouth fart of his own, which will sound like it is asking “butt hole?” The answer, of course, is yes.
5. HIS TESTICLES
If you’ve ever stood behind a stallion while waiting in line for a concert, you’ve probably seen testicles. A man’s testicles can be found by slapping his penis shaft aside and quickly snatching up the strange pouch which lays below. This “coin purse” doesn’t actually contain any coins. Not yet anyway! Gently slice the scrotum open with something and open it up. Inside you will find what looks like big handful of rotten grapes. Now for the fun part: add quarters, nickels, heck, even dimes. Now that you’ve paid, you can take some of the grapes.
6. HIS HANDS
Try shaking his hand! I’m not sure about other guys, but I personally jizz in my pants whenever I shake hands with a woman (and certain Hispanic men). There’s just something about meeting someone in a professional setting and politely shaking their hand that really gets the ol’ semen uncontrollably pouring out of my flaccid penis and into my work shorts. The same might be true in the bedroom! So the next time he’s in the mood, seductively push him down onto the bed, peel off your top, look him in the eyes, and shake his hand in a professional manner. Who knows, he may need to go “shorts shopping” before he goes to work the next day!
After reading all of these tips, you have absolutely no excuse to leave your man unsatisfied by having boring-old penis shaft sex. A man’s body is a temple, and you should treat it exactly like you would treat an actual temple.
Jacy Catlin is a nice man who lives in Wisconsin. Buy his wonderful t shirts at sprots.org.