It’s always Danny Devito’s Troll Foot this, Danny Devito’s Troll Foot that.
Well guess what, America? My name is Jacques and this is my story.
“Master Danny has been keeping me to himself for awhile. I am his companion, his confidante. We are a team but I am not defined by him. I am Jacques.”
Jacques comes from an Italian line of troll feet and family is one of his top priorities.
“I do get stage fright but Master Danny insists it’s normal. My mom loves Anderson Cooper so she was happy when this pic was snapped.”
Jacques mother refused to comment.
“I don’t get it. Is it ironic?”
Jacques has trouble understanding the subtlety of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and will not divulge any information on his suspected relationship with Charlie Day’s left foot, Anabel.
“Truthfully, I wouldn’t change my job for the world. Master treats me well with the best minty scrub available at Rite Aid and I love when his pussy cat sniffs my face.”
“At the end of a long day, Master will rub me down, soak me in Epsoms until I doze off into a most beautiful slumber.”
Night night, Jacques.