Get to know fall’s sexy new trio: Flab, Scabs and Tab.

Flab

If you got it, flaunt it! In some cultures curvy women are worshipped, but not ours!   Wear clothes that are a few sizes too small to really accentuate those hairy, juicy fat rolls.  And don’t even think about being caught dead this autumn without an ample amount of bra strap back fat.

Scabs

Is there anything better than a giant brown scab? If there is, I haven’t seen it.  The more the better. I’ve got 3 on my face and 6 on my butt right now!

Tab

You can wash your hair with it, douche with it, or even soak your feet in it to ease those painful ingrown toenails.  Grandma loves it!