“Again and again and again and again!!!”
Kelly Clarkson is the undisputed farm emo queen. After spoiling us with countless tender ballads such as “I do not hook up”, “go”, and the underground hit “no, dad, I’m not a lesbian”, Kelly has taken the milk fat of our souls and churned it into a cube of rock and roll butter with her song “Since U Been Gone”.
Unlike her previous songs, Since U been Gone combines sick guitar riffs with air drum solos to create an uptempo farm emo rock sound more contagious than my Aunt Lorraine’s Staph infection. Furthermore, by dropping the “yo” from “you” in her song title, we are left with a feeling of youthfulness only brought about when that 19 year old kid at the gas station says I have a pretty mouth.
Since U Been Gone is designed to make scrapbooking clubs break out into fistfights and guys named Kevin punch themselves in the dick. It’s the type of jam that makes walls shake, butts clap, and dads in turtlenecks try hummus for the first time. When Clarkson croons “Again and again and again and again” it confirms that Clarkson has the most powerful ovaries in the business and she isn’t backing down from the repetition and alliteration that has made her so appealing to fans who are easily confused by complete sentences.
Since U Been Gone is easily the top song of our generation and perhaps Kelly Clarkson’s greatest contribution to my karate sound track.
KELLY CLARKSON’S “SINCE U BEEN GONE” : A+
Lisa Bizzle has over 3 badminton tournament victories & at the tender age of 26, survived a bee sting to the neck. Lisa now divides her time between building blanket forts & shaving pentagrams into neighborhood cats.