It’s nice to cry sometimes, and ladies, nothing makes me sob like a pair of cankles in Minnetonka Moccasins! Ladies!

Ladies!
Loafers are a sacred shoe, tainted by these knee-highs, simply horrifying. Loafers should be worn with a tasteful, delicate sock. Girls, buy a pair of uggs, loafers are for boys.

Ladies!
Loafers on a dock? Are you a lunatic?! Don’t make me say it, leave it to men, in the man cave, where the men are.

Ladies!
Simply revolting, loafers are meant to be bland, and almost always brown. Loafers are a boy’s club, no girls allowed!

Ladies!
Double trouble, I don’t know whether to throw up or remove my own legs with a chainsaw, simply disturbing… Ladies! Loafers are a man’s game, sit on the sidelines.

Ladies!
I rest my case.